Shrink Ray Chic

I was following protocol — rain = mall — yesterday and came to the following conclusion. The trends that make me long for blindness...might not be so bad on a kid.

For instance, whenever I see a grown woman in Uggs, I want to taze her so bad I can taste it. I am in complete awe of how long the fad has managed to endure — longer than Crocs, longer than platform flip-flops. When I spy the clodhopping eyesores in the streets of OC, they are all too often paired with teeny tiny shorts or skirts, indicating that the wearer is incapable of figuring out the climate. In defense of their precious Uggs, fans will usually squeal "But they're so comfortable!" I can't speak to that, having never worn a pair myself. I can say that on the days when comfort is so crucial that I can barely bring myself to get out of my slippers — after all, aren't they just really ridiculously expensive slippers — I find it's best to just stay at home.

But when I see a chubby bow-legged toddler ambling along in them, it gives me the warm-and-fuzzies. Style-wise, they wouldn't be my first choice. But it's easier to swallow the argument for these toasty, easy-on carefree foot wear for little ones who will ultimately spend more time being carried than actually walking around. More booties than boots. Should they run $90? Heavens, no. But $18 knock-offs? Sure. Why not?

I'm similarly lenient with regards to wee jeggings. If you've remained blissfully ignorant to this trend thus far, allow me to burst your bubble. They are jeans + leggings, offering the illusion of jeans, but with more stretch, often without the actual pockets, zippers, etc. See?

And, like regular jeans, they come in such woeful versions as acid wash, ripped and zipper-ankle. They've been worn by the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Sienna Miller, Taylor Momsen and various other unfortunately famous people you'd never want your daughters to emulate. They are completely unforgiving on anyone besides those wafer-thin celebrities and have the ability to take a look from zero to hoochie in one stretchy swoop.

All the same, when I came across mini-versions in H&M, Nordstrom and even Target, I couldn't help but see their practicality. Aesthetically, I prefer my kid in jeans over most any other bottoms. It's just a quintessential cool-kid staple to me. Jeggings would be perfect for emergency potty breaks because there's no fumbling with buttons, snaps and zipper tracks. Cartwheels, yoga moves (yes, my kid takes yoga), upside-down maneuvers on the monkey bars — in theory, all could be executed with more comfort in a pair of jeggings than a pair of binding jeans. I haven't bought a pair yet, but once I get over my negative associations, I predict they'll be playground staples. (This is certainly slippery slope territory because I've even seen the appeal of these -- they can be done right!)

I draw the line, however, on the other eye-sores I came across in the kids department yesterday: neon puffy paint accents, acid wash accessories and the oddly-enduring buffalo plaid trend. These were wrong back when County Seat was pimping them in the early '90s and they're still wrong, no matter the size range.